#A2ZChallenge · Books and Comics · Pointless Observations · So Unnecessary

#A2ZChallenge: K is for K

Dear K

You remember what happened with Pluto in 2006? Gus has still not gotten over it.

There Pluto was, minding its business rotating on an axis, playing ice-ice baby, when it was demoted to “dwarf planet”. By one diabolical International Astronomical Union (IAU). If I did n’t know better, I would say “so caricaturish that Inspector Pradyuman might have come up with this.” #LifeLongCIDFan #BreakThatDoorDaya

Don’t let that happen to you. K, you are a competent alphabet. You don’t have the joie-de-vivre of Q and you don’t have the hipster quality of Z. But hey, you score me 5 on Scrabble (just by yourself), and that is one point more than Y. So, you are in the prime of your career, prospects wise. And as we speak, scientists are discovering three new German/ Finnish words starting with K that mean something dope (am talking to you, Fernwah). If the stars are aligned, a Hollywood celebrity has set out to sea to adopt a child, he who shall be named with a K.

Time was, it was K for Cat, sorry C for CAT

The final frontier is still the “who are you for?” It was always C is for Cat. However, several cats now come with a K note address. Whether Krazy Kat or KitKat or Kat, of long-form Katrina Kaif. If you are clever, you can see what the C team is doing. By snagging the symbolic victories, they are holding onto “C is for Cat” in toddler books. Go for the jugular, K. Get the Dr Suess book title changed to Kat in the Hat. K is for Katniss. Every kool kat is a k-cat. C, see you are losing the plot.

The K Mojo, not to be confused with just KJo

You have an X factor going for you.

  • Most people want to say OK, but they just say ‘K instead. No accident. Mojo.
  • Good stuff is named starting with you, Kermit the frog; Kebabs; King Julien (no one calls him Julien); Kangana; Kanan Gill; Keyser Soze; Kite Runner – I want to say Kardashians but let’s say Kate Middleton or Kylie Minogue and be done with it
  • Krispy Kreme is such an homage to you; not one but two alphabet usurps back-to-back. Take that C.
  • K-K-K is for k-k-k Kiran, not for anything else.

Here’s looking at you, Kid

You should settle for nothing less than every third food/drink restaurant/ restrobar/ café to be named a K. I am sure Café Coffee Day is jaded enough to switch to Kappy Kafi Day. Newer places could just be prefixed and suffixed with Kuisine or Khef or Kook. Check Webster once for the kook part though. I think you could boldly go where any C creature has been.

Ask for some barter, stand some ground, let some sand slip. For instance, you could cede Cale leaves and Caran Johar but stay firm for Konkana SenSharma and Kabootar Ja Ja Ja. Grey areas such as Cauvery and Kaveri can remain, they have got other issues right now. Ask if you can have cauliflower, Casablanca and Clooney, George transferred to K domain.

Is Ekta Kapoor still steady with you, btw? That might be Complex and Complicated, CC to C: you can keep both these words.

Signed,

Your time has kome.

K

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